Importance Of Teaching A Child To Disagree Respectfully
Can you imagine a world which is full of yesmen? Can you think of a world which is full of hypocrisy where people are not allowed to put forward their opinions? To me, it sounds horrendous and ultimate slavery. We should also learn to disagree, but how? Disagreeing but respectfully is an art that needs to be taught to the children. We should learn the difference between disagreeing and disagreeing respectfully. When we do not agree with someone, there are various reasons to justify it. The reasons should be specified with utmost dignity and grace. It takes courage and patience to listen carefully to somebody and be courteous. People are too much obsessed with their perceptions and wrapped up by their belief system. They often forget that there can be two rights at the same time and that we must be kind enough to bear with others point of views also. Teachers of boarding schools in Dehradun have been trained in such a manner that they teach students to disagree respectfully. Especially children, when they are going through their teenage are prone to behave in a disorderly manner. There are a few tips that one should follow when trying to express their opinions or disagreeing with someone for that matter. These are as follows:
1)Try to be polite- Whatever it is, even if somebody is wrong and have no logic to support their beliefs, be patient and gracious with them. The moment you use anger and aggression to prove your side of the story, it takes away the authenticity of it. To subdue others, you need not be loud enough; you should be articulate and well perceived.
2) State facts- The only way to support your argument is to state facts and evidence but in a gentle manner. If ever you want to sound convincing and not a rebel, learn to keep your rage aside. Focus on the content and the way to put across your views. Always prioritize logic over emotions.
3)Appreciate-Try to appreciate and recognize the opinions of others too. Do not just launch right in without giving a preface of other’s suggestion. Try to acknowledge the points and suggestions that you like about someone. It will make them happily listen to your views too. For example-Start explaining your ideas by an opening statement like “ I agree with you also and to some extent you are also right but how about if it was done it in this way, it might give good results’”, or something like that.
4) Listening is a must- There are various kinds of listening skills. First of all, people confuse listening with hearing. Hearing happens, but listening is a voluntary activity. Actively listen to people. Try to grasp what exactly somebody is trying to deliver. It might end up to a productive conversation. You don’t always need to disagree to someone to prove yourself right. Try to add on to the points of others.
5) Agree to disagree-There is a reason that this catchphrase is followed diligently. To make others listen to your content, you need to agree with theirs too. If you start your conversations by negations, the chances are high that the discussion might convert into an argument.
It is often observed that even girls’ students of girls boarding schools in Dehradun are taught moral and ethical lessons for replying or denying respectfully.
There will be times when children might not agree and be rude while putting across their thoughts. We should teach them not to be nasty and still be able to say No. We should also make them realize that agreeing always isn’t respecting and disagreeing is not related to disrespecting. There are very few children who find the courage to say “It’s not right.” Some follow their elders blindly while few do not have an opinion of their own. It is essential to be true to oneself, and while doing so, not to be disdainful towards others. Another way to teach our children how to disagree respectfully is by setting examples before them. When we lay a strong foundation by displaying the correct way of saying no, they will follow us and try to learn the same. Threatening won’t help, guidance will. Parents and guardians can empower children to make better choices. Sometimes being straightforward also help than sugar-coating words. The day we make children realize the power of disagreeing, but respectfully, they will win not only arguments but life in general.